The other day, I took a gender aptitude quiz available in the Life & Culture section of pbs.org. It labeled me as a “gender outlaw,” advising me that I was “too far gone to make the climb back up to ‘real’ man or ‘real’ woman” and that I should explore places that “really thrill” me.
I am so not a gender outlaw. While I have no problem with other people doing what they want to do, I have no doubts about what (or who) I want to do (or not do). Applying a definition to gender seems pointless to me. I mean, who really cares? All I want is to be happy with myself. I don’t need to explore any hidden places that really thrill me because I know what I like. Confusion about whether I wanted a penis or a vagina was never an issue for me.
As for those places that really thrill me... Well, I have explored (and continue to explore) quite a few of them. I have been kicked out of bars, caught with my pants around my ankles (literally) and seen more than one hotel room with a mirror on the ceiling (they got some kinky stuff in a lot of those rooms). There are still places that I would like to explore, but I don’t want to get arrested. For instance, I have always wanted to make use of one of those big trampolines that people try to cram into their tiny, unfenced yards. I imagine the trampoline owners wouldn’t appreciate it though and I would be creeped out if they did.
I guess this quiz bothered me because it had to label me as confused about my gender when I simply feel that people should choose their own happiness. If someone doesn’t think she or he or whatever is a man or a woman or anything in between, that’s fine with me. It doesn’t interfere with my ability to enjoy the pleasures of men (or various battery-operated toys). But that doesn’t make me a gender outlaw or render it necessary for me to explore unknown places. Maybe the quiz just ends by telling everybody they are a gender outlaw, regardless of how you might have answered the questions.
I am discarding the gender outlaw label and adopting the label of girl-who-dips-carrots-in-peanut-butter.